12.23.2007

i can't start right now to talk about everything. everyone has gone home and now i feel even worse. every few minutes i think i feel better. then it hits be like a sock woth a roll of quarters in it.When i was driving from the rental car place the other day this song came on the radio. it happens to be on my phone as a ringtone oddly enough. it's a song by the offspring. i sang this so loud i hurt my throat. i banged the drum beat on the steering wheel and hurt my hands. but it felt good to get the pain out, even if it was a small amount.
Gone Away
Maybe in another lifeI could find you there
Pulled away before your time I can‘t deal it‘s so unfair
And it feels
And it feels likeHeaven‘s so far away
And it feels
Yeah it feels like
The world has grown cold
Now that you‘ve gone away
Leaving flowers on your grave
Show that I still care
But black roses and Hail Mary‘s
Can‘t bring back what‘s taken from me
I reach to the sky
And call out your name
And if I could trade
I would
And it feels
And it feels likeHeaven‘s so far away
And it stings
Yeah it stings now
The world is so cold
Now that you‘ve gone away

THANK YOU to you all for the words, cards and thoughts. i'm trying so hard you guys. i don't know how to get through this.