3.27.08

Part of my recent life changes and personal work i am doing with the counselor is i have to write every day about things in my brain whether it is me bitching about how Beauty and The Geek should not be Beauty VS the Geeks and that the girl who won Beauty and the geek 2 season ago didn’t really seem to have learned much from that experience if she was trying to date the Poison Guy on Rock O Love Dos, or something serious, or something Happy! Or The World We Live In and Life In General.

Tallulah the car is home. $600 later. the things they thought were wrong are repaired, however the reason i brought the car in the first place was the temperature gauge needle keeps climbing up toward the red. It never reaches it completely but it gets close, and it happens while idling and while driving. SO driving home yesterday, IT STARTED DOING IT AGAIN. I stopped to get the car washed, and called George at Columbia. He said that it may take a day or so before that stops happening. I said if it doesn’t we’re going to have a problem, that i have spent almost $1000 on ‘repairs’ in the past 2 weeks and the car is still seeming sick. I’ve decided that even though i felt so comfortable with Columbia and had bought the car there, i need to bring Lullah to a Ford dealer if this is not fixed. The reason this took so long was they had to order the parts from Ford. 2 extra days of rental car. They claimed it would have cost more to bring it to the Ford shop. So i decided to do a little detective work, and called the Ford shop where i have gone a few times. They said that they would gladly see me and Tallulah and work with me to figure out what was wrong. I explained what had happened and they said even if they towed it their price would only have been $50.

I’m still new to being a car owner. I bought Tallulah One in September 2000. She was the very last year 2000 Ford Focus made. I called her the Millennium Focus. I worked for a Ford Dealer at the time and fell in love with the car the day they brought in into the showroom. My boss helped me order the car and i hand picked everything. I did not even have my license yet, but i bought her as incentive. My then husband and i moved to Pa right after that. He used the car off and on but had his own. Once i got my license i drove that car everywhere. To Va, to NJ, to school an hour away, to Toronto, Buffalo, NY and Ma. This car had only one issue, and it was fixed easily. I had her for a little over three years and then had a bad car accident. http://mom-o-cass.livejournal.com/2003/11/25/
She was totaled. I said goodbye to my little green goddess of a car. A few months later i moved here.

When my stepfather passed away, he left us with a little something and one thing he told me was to get myself a car no matter what. So when i received the money, i looked online for a Focus. I decided having a station wagon would be a good idea. I was 8 months pregnant and knew i had to have a car before Cass arrived. I found a 2001 black Focus wagon with only 32K miles. It was at a Pontiac dealer. The salesman told me they had gotten it at an auction for dirt cheap. 10K later i was the proud owner of Tallulah Two. This was in 12/05, so it’s been a little over 2 years and the car still seems now to me. She has 60K miles right now.

I just hopehopehope she is going to be ok. I want to at least have her until we can afford to get a new car. She is mostly so reliable and has gotten me where I’ve needed to get me and my lil family. I’m so worried and upset and want this to work out. I also need to drive to CT on Sunday. And other places other days. I need this car to be well.

I feel a lot of the sad and anxiety I’m dealing with is more due to some recent news concerning family on both sides. Mike’s family was dealt another hard blow recently and it’s so heartbreaking, but also reminding us that life is so short and to really truly live every day to the fullest. On my side, there is a very upsetting situation concerning a sibling and i can’t write about it here because it’s too personal for me to do so. But I’m so very angry and sad for her and want so much to make her better. I’ve already lost one sibling...I’m praying this one is going to be ok. I’ve not been a big one on prayer, but i find myself doing something like that lately. My sister in law Jenny has sent me all this stuff about grief and grace and bible verses and scripture. She’s Christian and i notice it even more since Bill died. I see it’s bringing her a lot of peace and i am so very glad. I know Bill was Catholic but he was very into the Christian beliefs more than anything. I’m happy they had that together. I’ve never had a strong faith in particular area, but i always have felt spiritual in ways. I just never found the right path. Going to the UU church was one of the best things i ever did. I feel like i should go back and give it another run, but i also feel like i don’t need to go somewhere to be spiritual.

Well, i think i need to email this to my gmail so i can post it at work. I hope you all have a Lovely Day, just like that Bill Withers song. Thank you for reading.